So, it is time to get down and dirty about my purpose for the blog I suppose... I have come across several blogs that have been sources of inspiration to me as I move through life. Those of particular helpfulness and knowledge are related to weight/fitness/healthy living. I have read other women's stories of their struggle with weight and have been hit with the raw realness of them. These ladies have exposed themselves fully to their readers, putting their feelings out there in way that is incredibly relate-able for other women in the same position, such as myself. So, they are my inspiration for the blog; so that maybe others may benefit from my voice.

I have always struggled with my weight. About a year ago, I had it under control. I was where I wanted to be. Strong, fit, and looking...but better yet, feeling AMAZING! It's a funny thing though, how stress creeps in like a silent slithering snake, coiling around you until everything you had to give is sucked out. This one sure was a surprise. I thought I had nailed my dream job, the one I had worked hard college years to attain. But, what I discovered was that, while I loved parts of this "dream job", it sucked the core of life out of me...and I am not okay with that. That being said, stress and lack of energy to push myself worked together to help me gain back all of the weight I had rid myself of and then some.

So, I have ridden myself of the job, looking forward to moving into something that doesn't make me sacrifice so much of myself to retain. But, I'll be honest. I am in a weird spot right now. For years I felt sure that my previous career choice was exactly where I wanted to be, so I'm a little lost now that I am starting from scratch. BUT...I am ready to find myself again! Physically and mentally. I am struggling to find the motivation that I had when I lost the weight last time. However, I'm coming to the conclusion that I may need to stop searching and create something new that motivates me. I am in a different place in my life and that old motivator just may not work anymore.

While I often feel disgusted and like I have let myself down about my body, I do need to focus on the positives in my life right now...and there are many. First and foremost, I have the MOST AMAZING boyfriend. He is a constant supporter of me and ALWAYS makes me feel loved and adored. I have never felt so comfortable with someone in my life, and I was married for almost 5 years! And, physically speaking, we found each other when I was at my hottest and now I am far from it. But, you would never know it looking at our relationship. He loves me so genuinely! I appreciate that SO SO much! Next, I have some fantastic friends! One gal in particular is in a similar place with weight, etc. We have really bonded through this and she has become such an incredibly important part of my life. Together, we are going to reach our goals! In fact, we have both signed up for the Color Run in October, (OMG that's creeping up), which will be our first event like this. (Time to get into gear!) Another one of my best chicks has been there for me through some really hard times and helped me understand that I deserve the best. She inspires me to push myself as a person and to expect the best from people. If she lived closer, we would SO be fitness buds. Plus, I have a loving family that cares about me. I could go on and on, but my point is...I have a support system in my life and I need to remember to be thankful for that.

Okay, I am closing this one...more to come :)